Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
