Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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