Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
