Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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