If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
