Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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