Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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