do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
