found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
