Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
