Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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