My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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