Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
