some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't turn off my feet"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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