i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
