My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
