We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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