Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
