We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
