READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
