I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
