Yo dont text me then not text me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh god it's open bar.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
