do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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