Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
