Pappa wants mamma naked
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
