The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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