It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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