Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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