cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
