So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
