He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
