you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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