ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
