just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
