we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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