...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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