do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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