i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
