careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
