drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
