Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
