Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
