We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
