i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
