tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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