just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
