Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
