So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
