My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
