my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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