They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The power of my boobs compel you
Floor bacon is actually really good
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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